Hahaha....!!

A heavyset guy sees an ad that reads “Lose weight. Only $10 a pound. Call (202) 555-0238? and decides to make the call.

The operator asks, “How much weight do you want to lose?”

“Ten pounds,” he replies.

“We’ll have a representative over in the morning,” says the operator.

About 9 a.m., there’s a knock on the door. There stands a fairly good-looking girl, completely naked except for a sign around her neck reading “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me.”

The hefty fellow chases her upstairs, downstairs, and all around the house. Finally, panting and wheezing, he catches her. After they have sex, he runs to the bathroom and weighs himself. He’s lost 10 pounds!

That night he calls the number again and says, “I want to lose 20 pounds.”

“We’ll send someone over.”

The next morning, he’s greeted by a gorgeous girl dressed only in track shoes and wearing a sign around her neck that reads “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me.” The chase takes a good while longer this time, but later he finds he’s lost 20 pounds!

That night he calls and says, “I want to lose 50 pounds!”

“Fifty pounds?” the operator asks. “That’s an awful lot.”

The man replies, “Listen, just take care of it!”

About 7 a.m. the man hears a knock and opens the door. Outside stands an enormous gorilla with a sign around its neck that reads “If I catch you…”

I'm back.... but was i ever gone ?!?

I know, I know. Its been a while since I last posted on this blog. What can I say, been busy and really lazy.. :)

I wish I could be more active. I'm trying to find a hosting service. But no one around me seems to have a credit card :(

(anyone?)

So, I was talking to a few of my x-school mates. These are the people I never used to hang around with. Well, I didn't have a choice, but if I would, I wouldn't even talk to them. Why ? Well they are the biggest and the worst liers around. And they make and spread rumors faster then girls do ! They are on my facebook page and I was like "lets have some fun and check up with them".

This one guy is now in Bangladesh. So we talk and them he starts the trail of lies. He's like "I drink, smoke, drive, I have a lot of independence". Now stop right there !!

First of all, grammatically your wrong. You are still dependent on your parents. Next, whats so great about drinking, smoking and driving. I can do all that here or ANYWHERE in the world!! Given the background, I know he is bluffing his ass off !!

This second guy is in UK. He tells me he is doing his Bachelors of Technology in Computing. I find that fishy, but yeah maybe. So it gets better. I casually ask him if he is doing any part time job ( before that I asked how much it cost in UK : "12 grand" ).

"No, I work full time. I work in a company called "Willis connects. As a computer technician. I get 8k after taxes."

So, I'm already LMAO. I'm still playing along. So I ask him to give me the company's website. So he says "Willisconnects.co.uk". There is no such site. So I inform him that and he goes "search in google for Willis connects community" WTF !! So Here is how I stick it up his you know what:

"Why should I search ? You are a computer technician at a company. You should at least know their website?"

.....silence.

....silence.

"Are you there"

"Yeah, I'm doing my assignments" (on FB lol)

So this proves we as a nation do one thing the most "LIE" and that is the one thing that we are the most terrible in doing. Seriously, stop "TRYING TO LIE", it doesn't help.

On a different note: I have been reading a lot about Japan. Cause I'm going there (yaa!!). Did you know:

They have vending machines for everything ?
And they have watermelon kitkat ?
And they have 100mbps fiber optic Internet lines to homes ?

I guess I'll start another blog to document my whole ordeal in Japan. So stay tuned, till I get off my lazy ass again :)

I'm on the news !!

Here's the link,
http://server4a.pressmart.net/theweeknew/index.aspx?page=04&issue=issue21


Until I can post it straight here.

The week is a free weekly tabloid. Its done a cover story on AIESEC.. :)

Innalillahi-wa-innalillahi-rajiun

This is the first time I feel I have lost someone close to my heart. Within the past two years, I have lost a lot of people in the family. But no loss felt so close.

It is with great sadness that I blog about the passing away of my grandma. She passed aways in the ICU at 3am today. She was an awesome lady. I wish I could have been with her more often. This is the problem of being away from your country. I wish I could have heard more stories from her, I wish she my kids could have seen their great grandma. But unfortunately none of these are possible anymore.

She suffered for long. She had TB and other complications with her lungs for years. She was a fighter. In the very end she had lost too much weight. Her organs couldn't hold on anymore.

I just can't begin to think what my grandpa, or dad is going through right now. My grandma is from the 70s. She got married when she was 14, had her first son (my dad) when she was 15. She passed away young. She would lie there on the bed, while my grandpa would read her things from the holy Quran. That is one thing I won't see anymore.

I wish I could cry. But that's something that I can't do !

May Allah grant her heaven. And may her soul rest in peace.

This has made me reflect on what I have with my parents. Am I doing enough ? I just hope I will be better.

The irony of life

I got bored with solving this programming thing that I was doing, staying awake all night long for just one single error. You know, a normal day in the life of a nerd !! So, its early morning now and I guess I solved it. So I took a break to fix myself some breakfast. While eating, I started to think how there are so many things that can be labeled as ironies of life. So here is list that I could think up:

1. Money in the bank = Laziness. So we all chase Laziness.

2. Most chicks with great bodies are cheap.

3. Villains in movies get more girls then hero's do !

4. They all look the same naked !

5. The pleasures of wanting something pleasurable ends just when you know that you are getting it.

Good example: You wanted that dress for ages. You dream about the pleasure of owning it one day. You finally have the money to buy it. You go to the store real excited, your paying for it now.... END OF PLEASURE.

Bad example: You wanted to lay that sexy thing for ages. You dream about the pleasures of a wild night with her. You finally get what you wished for. Tonight is the night. She is laying on your bed naked... waiting for you. You know this is it....END OF PLEASURE.

6. There is no "Recycle Bin" or "Buffer memory" in real life.

7. The bigger the ship, the easier it is to sink it. This is a scientific reality as well as a metaphoric reality.

8. Your girlfriend wears your cloths : Sexy, you wear your girlfriends cloths (E.g. skirt) : Gay..

9. You may have bought it, but do you OWN it ?

10. There is always "Strings attached".

So, your girlfriend says "she is yours". You are sure she said only these three words, and nothing after or before that. So, that would mean you own her right ? I mean she is ours right ? Well try saying that to her... !!

Another real life example is this line "*conditions apply"

11. Demand is directly proportional to cost. Supply is indirectly proportional to cost. This is all that I remember from my 7th Grade Economics class. Oh yeah, and something about "elasticity".

12. Everyone wants to broadcast themselves (including me), but when they become famous, they want to keep their lives "private".

13. Everyone is no better then a leech. We make money off of someone else.

14. You should keep trying, but that's going to cost you like hell !!

15. The more money you have, the more you will make. The more money you can show, the more you will be able to loan.

16. Time and tide wait for none. So doesn't your public bus, your office staff, your ex-girlfriend when you dumped her..

That was quiet long. Need to get back to my nerdy business now. I'm sure to write a followup post to this very soon.

The awesomeness of AIESEC

A lot has been happning. All this due to one organization called AIESEC.

1. I'm currently the VP of marketing for our local committee. It has an awesome name:

Local committe Downtown Muscat.

We are currently a small group of start-up leaders. But we are having this exciting city wide recruitment. It invloves all the different local committees working in their colleges to recruit new members. We are currently based in my college Majan College. Its been an awesome week of putting up posters, flyers, setting up our office, e-mailing, collecting information, distributing applications, conducting information sessions. It was totally kick ass !! In the process we used some really redical marketing ideas, which i would like to group under the "Agressive marketing" catagory. So you know what I mean.

2. The first ever AIESEC Symposium and launch event in coming up. And yours truly is the Organizing committee vice president for marketing. This event is held under the patronage of Ministry of Education, Sultanate of Oman. So my job again: identify target audience, design and utilize communication channels to effectively reach them. Make sure the sponsors are happy and get all the ad space they paid for !!

3. And last, but not the least, I have been matched officially to an internship in Japan !! Three months in the land of the rising sun, and samurai !! Its a technical trainiship, where I'll be working with KiBAN.

How much more awesome can it get ?? The awesome experience of the best thing ever ... !!

AIESEC ...

Finally signs of Winter...

I hate the summer's here. And they are long. Like way way too long. What else can you expect in the desert area ? Its a great thing that electricity/petrol is cheap here. Or we would be in debt by now.

But here is the good news. Its finally getting cooler. Specially during the night. Its nice and cool, with a slight breeze. Its just like autumn. But I don't think we have that here.

Its much better for us friends, cause we can hang around late at night and do "sheesha", and not sweat like hell.

That makes me think. The winter's are much cooler here, and the summers hotter. It rains more. All that is good, but its due to climate change. Which is not a good thing. I was watching this documentary on BBC about the melting of the polar caps. Man, that's some scary thing. I wounder where this is going. I wounder what is going to happen. Even in Bangladesh. We used to have all these seasons. Each was two months long and clearly distinguishable. But now, it seems to be like summer, winter and rainy season. And a bit of the others like autumn, spring. But you can't tell them apart.

I guess, Gunu happened due to climate change.

Everything for free

So, till now I have got almost everything for free online. By everything I mean anything in digital format and for which they usually ask you to PAY. Now I don't like the word PAY, SUBSCRIBE. They just aren't me. The other reason is that, I do not have a international credit card that I can use online. My dad doesn't have one too. In this part of the world, debit cards are more popular.

So, how do i get all that ?

Well for books (e-books) I just go to www.amazon.com. Search for the book I want. Highlight and copy the title of the book. Go to www.google.com. Paste it there and add rapidshare to the end. Then press enter and walla... !! Its there for downloading ...

There is an awesome website for software: www.phazeddl.com. They have a huge collection.

The rest you know ... just google...

Till now, the only thing I wasn't able to download for free is Norton 360 (anti-virus). So I bought it ... :)

Smooth indulgence

So recently I am really addicted to this. I mean how can you be not ...

She is smooth, creamy, voluptuous, and what not !! The moment you take her in, you wanna let it slide around, hitting all the right notes. She will make you close your eyes, and dream about the perfect sweet day. She will take you places you always wanted to go. Her creamy and caramel skin has just the perfect ingredients. She will get you hooked...

Yap, its the best thing out there. Werther's Originals. Try 'em and you will not regret.

Hey, this can be a good promotion campaign. Any takers?

Oh and its bad for your teeth.. LoL

Later...

Back in tune

My recent trip to Dubai has been really fruitful for me, cause I got a something that I had been bugging my Dad to buy for a long long time.

There is my new Yamaha FX 310A. Just unpacked. And its got a built in pick, it from Virgin Megastore Dubai, and its expensive.... x)

Before this I had this really cheap Chinese guitar. But its got a story behind it, which makes me sad, happy and grateful. So at those times, I wanted to learn guitar and I had asked my Dad for a guitar on my Birthday. But we were going through this financial problem thing, and he could only manage the Chinese one. But I really love him for that :)

So with the purchase of this new baby, my spirit of being a professional has been renewed. I called up my old teacher. He is this awesome fellow, who's really cool and all. He's like a great friend. But most of all, he is just an awesome guitarist. I mean, when you listen to him play, even a layman would want to hold a guitar and start strumming it.

I had stopped going to him cause he lived far from me. And I have to use the public transport, which is almost no-existent here in Oman.

So I called him and got a good news that he has opened up his own institute near my house. So I got really excited and tomorrow will be my first class after a really long time.

So looking forward to a great and non-stop journey back into the world of music.

Later...

Living at the border

So, I'm in Buraimi. Next to Al-Ain. I can see the fences from my window. Its a totally different place from Muscat. My friend crosses the border everyday to go to college. The only place he has to spend his weekend is across the border.

Buraimi, is still an Omani village. Most of you will know what that means. Its like, there is nothing much, no big malls and cinemas. Not much to do really. So, most of the hang ot places are in Al-Ain.

My friend calls UAE people locals, I can use both Dirhams and rials. They go at a flat rate of 1 R.O. = 100 Dirhams. So, it pretty much a new expericence. Its like Muscat is a different country. The disdashas here are of different, the car plates are mixed. Ahh.. I can just go on and on.

Tomorow is EID, and I'm going to Dubai. So..later.

EID

For people who don't live in arab countries, the whole month of ramadan is like a festival. Don't be narrow minded and think thats all we do. Its about worship and fasting and giving to the poor. But there is also shopping and late night hang out. That I'll miss this the most. In this month its like the whole city is awake till the early hours of dawn. We go around and hang out late, everyday, have shisha (water tobacco). Its soo awesome.

So now as ramadan comes to an end, I'm a bit sad. Everything will get back to its old self. And no more late night hang outs everyday :(

Wishing you all EID Mubarak.

My guitar is gathering dust

I've always considered myself to be music minded and creative. And not one of those over technical and detailed kinda person. But just someone who appreciates good work. Keep in mind the limited exposure. I have never been to an open air concert of any of my favorite artist. I still have that dream, but don't know when.

Since I was 12, I write my own songs and poems. Its a great feeling. I also used to compose them. Its great to find a tool of expression. Now in those times there were no blogs, no forums. I had books after books of lyrics, most of which I have lost. I think I have written songs about every event. It used to rain, something that would hurt me, when I used to be happy, I used to write a song. And I used to date them too. So now when I look back at them (the ones that are left) I know exactly when I wrote them.

I hate giving people gifts with cards that carry someone else's words. You know how everyone gives cards, with a poem written by "so and so" writer. I hate that. I always make it a point to spend some time and write my own. That's just how it is.

So coming to the topic of the title. I had bought this guitar. I just couldn't hold myself to not being able to re-create all the great tunes I hear all around me. And to play that awesome one that is inside my head, the one I just made up. But unfortunately I haven't got the "resources" to learn how to play it at this moment. I try to play it at times, with the limited number of cords I know, but I need to learn a lot more. Maybe later, everything falls into place and I will play my own music.

And so for now:

My guitar is gathering dust.
And so is a part of me,
I still hear music all around
Feel the resonance but can't see.

My guitar is gathering dust
And so is a part of my dream,
How I know there will be a day
That it will radiate from within.

:)

Boring movie to end the boring week

So, Oman can get boring sometimes... OK.... all the time. And so to end this boring week, I decided to watch a boring Hindi movie. Its called "Hijack"

I was beginning to wonder, when will Bollywood make a movie about hijacking a plane. And they did !! Yaa .. (read sarcastic). Its bad how they once again show Islamic terrorists hijack an Indian plane. So hate the stereotype.

There is nothing to talk about this movie. The plane gets hijacked and the hero saves the day. With a few occasional shootings and cold blooded murder. I don't understand why I don't like the tech used in Hindi cinema, its never the same as in English movies. It seems sooo fake. And how they show every single person (from the airport authority to the head of anti-terorism group) is in on the plot. And the hijackers wants to fly to Dubai .. LoL

There are no love stuff here. The hero saves the day, cause his daughter is on board the plane. At the end you come to know its based on some real story. They show a history of hijacked planes, just before the credits roll. Did you know the first case of hijacked airlines was in 1931 ? I guess these were the only interesting thing about the movie.

While coming out, I saw the next change would be "kidnap". They already did "murder" whats left ? Rape ??

"Men are such jerks"

Instructions:

1. If you are a girl and you agree to the above statement read on.
2. If you are not straight, then "no harm intended"
3. If you are a guy, then I'm sure you'll agree.
4. If you are a girl and do not agree to the above statement .. "call me" :)


Seriously, whats the point in generalising an entire gender. I mean think about it. Other then girls who are not straight, which other "gender" pool are they going to choose from ? Is there like a third type (yeah in case you are thinking, I didn't say the 2 in 1 type) ? So why on earth do they just say that ? Every girl will agree to the above statement. Yeah sure, I don't deny there are a lot of jerks around, but do you know each and every men on this planet ?

And then you see them happily married, and all you hear from their mouth is, my husband is this, and my husband is that !! So what happened to the "all jerks" lady ?? Where did that go now ?

In case you are wondering:
No I have not given any girl a chance or reason to say such things about me. But I've heard it from a lot of them.

Too many movies

Alright, so let me list the movies I have seen:

Tropic Thunder

And although it wasn't a really funny movie. I liked the concept of "the making of the most making of the most expensive movie". Yeah, so its like the making of the making of a movie. Sound wired, watch it .. !!

Harold and Kumar escape from Guantanamo bay

I was actually waiting to see this movie. And its kinda nice. But not much. There are funny scenes and then are those stupid scenes that its famous for. But its a good watch. At times the movie is filled with cheap nude girls. And they totally make Amsterdam look the the capital city for drugs and prostitution.

Step brothers

It was an OK movie. Nothing but foul language and typical American (sorry but true) movie cross hookups and sex. Although that's not real drift of the story, its there, a lot. I'm not going to give any spoilers (read... it isn't worth writing).

So that was like a lot of English movies, filled with the word fuck (I actually have a very funny joke on this, but I have to upload it), and stupid behaviour that's most of the time like "Adult Tom and Jerry"

Here are two Hindi movies I watched:

Rock On

Now this was a GOOD movie. It was actually the songs which made me watch this movie, but thank God it did. The story skims across and uses the same concept of "Dil Chahta Hay", but this time the real theme is around music. But a must watch. Specially if you are pissed of with those other English shits.

Kismat Konnection

First, its not such a good movie. And the best songs aren't even in the film. They are at the end, when the credits role out ! Second, this movie made me notice how much Shahid Kapoor really tries to copy Sharukh Khan. I mean look at him ! He looks like him, and tries to act like him (well not like a total copy, but like 60%). Oh yeah and I'm love with Vidya Balan, and she ain't even married yet. ;) And I totally agree with what she said:
"In fact, a covered body looks more sexy".



So, to end a big thanks to http://www.watch-movies.net/

I'm officially retiring for this month... :)

Zippo

For some unknown reason, I'm really getting obsessed with this AMERICAN (read sarcastic) thing called Zippo. Its just taken over my mind. Its like being drunk or something. All I can think about, is how I really need to get one. Have it shipped by DHL or freaking FedEx if need to, hell ya.. Ship a tiny little thing that cost like 30$ and spend 100$ to ship it to a land where nothing comes straight. I has to go to freaking Dubai first.

Think what would happen to something coming from South America to Oman. They would be like, "No we have to cross the Gulf of Oman and land in Dubai first, that's the rules, or the people at Dubai are gonna lose money, they can't eat their meals. So you pay... "

Hate how Dubai has become a freaking one man show. A hub would be better, but its more then that, its everything. It is the freaking middle east. Although it is the a tiny tiny little city.

Oh yeah, getting back to this Zippo thing, I'm getting one .. and I'm taking a pic of it and putting it on my shirt...

Lots of avtivity.

Well, so suddenly, the telecom environment has seen a lot of activity. There have been some fabulous offers form Nawras (my fav), from Omantel and from the TRA.

First up, Nawras. They have introduced a membership card for the high spenders. And looking at the basket of facilities that the members will get, it looks fabulous. I mean, here is a company giving something back. Which is what every company needs to do. The terms of the membership are a bit high, but as Nawras terms it is : "an exclusive and unique privilege programme for its loyal, high-spending customers."

You can read about it here:
http://www.nawras.com.om/about_nawras_media_centre_press_releases_08_74.shtml

Second: The TRA has given tenders and shortlisted several companies for a second landline and Internet Service provider. Although the whole process set a buzz, as to duration of the process so far, its still a step forward and compition = customer benifit. Dont know if it was because of this or not but...

Third: Omantel revised their land line rates. Althoug muscati (www.muscati.com) has done the maths and pointed out that it is actually an increase for people not makind long distance calls, but atleast there is some activity out there.

The most exciting thins to me is the introduction of VoIP. Yes finally.. But its not that they have taken out the block or that its leagal for any service. But Omantel will provide their own serive of VoIP. I'm still waiting on the rates to go for any gudgement.

Too many activities and hope to see a lot in the near future.

Ramadan Kareem !!

So, here it is. A month of worship and fasting. But it also brings lots of changes. Office, school timing change. People are more replaxed and yeah, hungry :) Pleople around here in Oman, tend to stay awake late. So the streets and places like areesh, corniche aren't deserted like normal months.

But thats not all. There is a change at the end of Eid. When things again go back to normal around here. Its then that I miss Ramadan. Kind of get used to the whole schedule thing. Like how there is no lunch, and then at evening everyone gather for Iftar. I start to like how everyone then head out to pray, and then come back and go out for shopping.

Thats how I feel about Ramadan. Ramadan Kareem !!

Goals vs Dreams

It feels good to have a goal. But sometimes I get too overwhelmed with the number of different goals I think up. And sometimes I think, are these goals or are they dreams. There is an obvious definition distinction between them. And that is belief. I believe that my dreams and plans can come true. I will achieve them, and so they are goals and not dreams.

The beginning

I had once though up few lines that best describes my understanding of time:

"When i was little: past was the worst, present was the best and future dreams.
When i grew up: past is the best , present the worst and future ??"

This for some unknown reason, holds true. So thats why I thought I would start my blogging with this little reality.